Adler
by FeyWinds
Summary: So,yeah,this is after this season,when Sherlock meets the girl of his dreams,the notorious criminal.  Chapters are named after the music I was listening to and gave me the idea. I will only post a new chapter after the one I wrote gets at least one review
1. Naughty Girl

Sherlock fumed as he leaned against the wall in the cleared out cafeteria a couple of floors up from Lestrade's office. He tugged at the cuffs on his new suit. John had dragged him to the policeman's dance. Watson had his girlfriend,Sherlock was the wall flower.

Holmes had the sneaking suspicion that,since the Moriarty thing,his colleague had wanted him to be around people,but it didn't work. It never worked. 15 people,men and women,police persons and their dates,had either asked hm to dance or tried to hit on him. The problem was,right at the moment,he was bored out of his mind,and none of them...none of them were interesting.He started to scan the room in a desperate search for someone who was,when his gaze stopped on a pair of heels.

There were scars,mostly faded,that came from a blade,but she didn't get them from a razor. She had the remnants of a scraped knee,almost healed,just under the gauze-ee,layered hem of a black strapless corset dress. Just-past-shoulder length brown hair,with topaz highlights,hid some of the scars on her upper back.

Now,she...she was interesting.

A tango started,and the group of guys around her all asked her to dance,just like they had done every other dance. She had started to answer,when another,new voice chimed in.

"May I have this dance?"

She turned,and looked over Sherlock with big blue-green-gray eyes.A small smile formed.

"Yes,I think so."Her accent was American,and she reached out and took his hand.

They walked onto the dance floor and started to dance(think the tango at the end of Easy Virtue).The only others on the floor were the undercover agents from even further up the building. As they danced,Sherlock started to talk. In Portuguese.

"Qual é o seu nome, ou você mesmo falar essa língua?"The girl have a half smile.

"Irene. Você?"

"Sherlock."She looked up at him,their faces only inches apart.

"Huh. Você parece ser uma espécie de lenda em torno destas peças. Um herói anônimo, pelo que ouvi."

As they danced,they gradually brought the attention of everybody that Holmes worked with or knew.

Could it be that Sherlock Holmes was having a non-work related social interaction with a _girl?_

The music ended,and the pair only started to move apart when the applause started. She looked about to say something when a voice echoed across the room.

"YOU!"

Irene sighed and reached down pulling off her shoes. She handed them to Sherlock,which distracted him slightly from a department head bearing down on them,though he had to fight his way through the crowd.

"What is this,Cinderella?"She snickered as she pulled a safety clip out of her top and clipped it on a previously hidden loop on her dress.

"Have fun at the ball,Prince Charming. See you later."She got on the tips of her toes and gave him a peck on the cheek before tearing towards the emergency exit.

The words "Stop her!"was hardly out of the head's mouth,and Sherlock Holmes had got a hold of himself,running after her. He was followed by the entire police force.

They were greeted by the sight of a rapidly disappearing rope. He looked over the railing to see her land,wearing untied black-and-white Converse and unclipped. She looked up and gave a half wave before she tore off.

Before anyone else made a move,Sherlock was zooming down the stairs.

Watson leaned over the railing.

"Sherlock,what the hell are you doing?"

The words "Catching her!" echoed up the stairwell as Holmes disappeared.


	2. Break the Ice

Sherlock came home to 221B Baker street after a exhausting night. John had gone to Sara's house,so the flat would be empty. This was good,since he needed the peace and quite to find that girl. He walked into the living room and sat on his usual sat down in his usual seat and closed his eyes. He tried to picture her.

When he had thought he had got it,he opened his eyes to see almost the exact same person sitting across from him. She was wearing the same gloves and converse(now tied) with a knee length trench coat over her dress. She was staring off into space. Sherlock raised a eyebrow.

"Hi."She looked over.

"Hello. You done,then?"

"Mmm."Now she raised a eyebrow to match his.

"And? I want to hear the conclusions of the great Sherlock Holmes."

"So you know me then."She snorted.

"Who doesn't? What I want to know is what you know about me."

"Your name is Irene Adler,you were born and grew up in New York,and your a con man."

"Con _Woman_,please."

"How did you get in?"

"Where?"

"The dance."

"Oh,I was invited."She rolled her eyes at Sherlock's eyebrow."Not as Irene _Adler_, as Irene _Mueller_. That was by boss. From the look of it,he had just figured me out."She leaned back in the chair.

"Why didn't you dance with anyone?"

"Why didn't you?"Her eyes wandered around his face,the only serious thing on hers.

"Because...they just...weren't..."For the first time ever,Sherlock Holmes was embarrassed about something.

"Interesting, and I was?"

"...Yeah..."

"Well,now you have your answer."She smiled at him,and (another first) Sherlock felt his cheeks start to heat up.

She leaned back in the chair and closed her eyes. Sherlock,fighting back the blush, looked her over.

"I hope the wall didn't give you any trouble."

"Not really. I came in through your bedroom. It was perfect climbing right under your window."Both smiled slightly.

And that was the start of a very long talk.

The next morning,Watson walked up the stairs to find Holmes in his chair,reading a book. The heels were on the floor next to him,and he hadn't changed. But,then again,so was John.

"Morning."

"Morning, John."Sherlock turned a page.

"You've been sitting here all night?"

"Yeah."He looked up to see Watson walk to the refrigerator...and Irene round the corner behind stepped noiselessly towards the half open door as John's back was waved and smiled,and he smiled back in response before she escaped down the stairs.

John turned to see Sherlock smiling at what seemed to be thin air. He walked into the living room and saw that nothing was there. He turned back to his friend,who had gone back to his book.

"Sherlock?"

"Yes, John?"

"You alright?"

"Of course."

John leaned against the wall with his glass of O.J. when he noticed the shoes.

"Who was that girl?The one from last night.I would have thought you would know by now."

"Nah,not really. I didn't think it was interesting enough."

Watson sighed.

"Alright,I'm getting dressed."He turned and went upstairs.

Only when he heard the door to John's room close,he let himself smile.

**So,it would seem that if you don't have a space after periods,it will delete the words on both bought that.**

**Anyway,R&R please!  
**


	3. Who's that Chick?

It was moments later when Sherlock's phone rang. He picked it up and opened a text from Lestrade.

_Need help finding Irene Adler._

If he had gotten up any faster,he would have broken the sound barrier.

Less than a minute later,there was a knock on Watson's door.

"Yes?"

"John,were going to the station. Hurry up."Footsteps echoed down the stairs.

A hour later,they were walking into the station. John was following Sherlock,who was carrying a large shoulder bag.

Up to this point,John had no idea what was happening. When he had come back downstairs,Sherlock was fully dressed,wearing the was also talking on the phone.

"Alright,see you later."He hung up and turned to see John. His expression became serious."Lets go."

Now,they were walking into the lobby,were Lestrade was waiting for them.

"Irene Adler came in 5 minutes ago. She's in the interrogation room with Sally."Sherlock gave a half smile.

"She won't talk to you,and she defiantly won't talk to Sally."

"But you said you think she'll talk to you?"

"I know it."

"Alright."Lestrade led the way down to the small room in the basement,where a familiar woman (though she had changed),was sitting across the table from Sally,blatantly ignoring her. Sally left the room and walked into the room on the other side of the one-way glass.

"She still won't say anything. Hello,freak."

Sherlock didn't even notice as he walked up to the glass.

Irene was wearing black jeans and black and white Converse All Stars,which were resting on the table. She had on a white oxford shirt and black tie. A black trench coat was draped across the back of the table,and a blue-grey fedora was placed half way over her face,a long ponytail visible.

After a moment,Sherlock left the observation room and into the room it,well,observed. She straightened up,pulling her feet off the table and her hat in their place.

"Good Morning,Mr. Holmes. How long has it been?"

"Oh,I don't know. Hour and a half?"

"Something like that. Oh,and by the way,when I said call me,I didn't mean to get me in a police interrogation room."

"Yeah,sorry about that. I brought the chess board,though."

"Cool."

They smiled back at each other while the people watching them were in awe. Sally,John and Lestrade had been joined by the equivalent in Irene's office,including a Watson figure, one Mary Morstan. The following conversation was carried out between them.

"He's...acting...human..."

"Forget him,_shes_ acting human!"

"I take it thats rare?"

"Hell yes!"

"Wait,what does he mean,a hour and a half?"

"Don't ask me,thats when I got-"John blinked."Home. So that's why he was smiling."

They all looked back at the room, where Sherlock had settled in and was setting up the board. He held up to bags,one with white pieces,the other with black.

"Which side?"

"Do I really need to answer that?"

"Very well,your majesty."She caught the the baggy with the black pieces in it.

"Thank you,Sir Holmes."She opened it and started setting up her side.

Watson put two and two together."Black queen and White knight..."

"What?"

"She's the black queen,he's the white knight!"

They looked back,to see the pair (theoretically) start playing,though they weren't actually doing anything. They were just sitting there staring at the board for what amounted to a hour and a the people watching,the wait was torture.

Then that hour and a half was over,however,Sherlock finally moved. This started off a rapid fire of moves,until Sherlock had both his knights and a king,and Irene had a queen and a king. Both leaned back and surveyed the board.

"Oh,give up!"Irene looked up at Sherlock's outburst."I have you surrounded,out number you,and am so obviously going to win!"

Irene rolled her eyes and picked up her queen.

"Its not how many you have,-"She took one knight."-what you-"She took the second knight."-do with them.""She took his king."Checkmate."

Amongst the people watching,there were cheers from the people watching who had bet on Irene. Of the two in the room,there was satisfied silence. Watson,just for a second,thought that Sherlock had looked turned on,but when he looked again,it was gone.

It must have been a trick of the light...right?


	4. I Kissed A Girl

Sherlock and Irene were putting away the pieces.

"So,what do they want you for?"

"They want to know why and how a wanted criminal got past all of their security and worked for them."She took a deep breath.

"I am wanted,yes,in America. I tried to go straight over there,and help the police catch criminals that they had no chance of catching otherwise. In short,I wanted to work for the police. Thing is,with a record,you really can't do that. So,I got a new name,came over here,and helped my office have the second highest rate of catching difficult criminals."She raised a eyebrow and Sherlock smirked.

The higher up huffed and pushed the intercom button.

"Until they figure out all the repercussions,you are suspended. But,considering your high success rate,It will be with pay."Irene grinned.

"Cool."She looked across the table to Sherlock."Pouvez-vous parler français?"

He nodded.

"Pourquoi?"She tilted her head towards the mirror.

"Parkour course à travers le parc pour le petit déjeuner? Une dernière, il y verse."Two or three people,including Sally and John,started a mad dash for the elevator,to the CCTV camera station.

"Fine. À partir de quand?"

"Lorsque nous arrivons à l'extérieur, bien sûr."

Both got up. Irene pulled on her jacket and tucked her ponytail into her hat. Sherlock handed his bag of to Lestrade and led the way up the stairs to the courtyard.

Upstairs,a large group was grouped around a flatscreen that showed CCTV. They watched as the two walked to the middle of the court yard.

"Une ..."

"Deux ..."

"Trois!"

In seconds,they were speeding off,jumping over cars and dodging pedestrians.

Upstairs,they were watching as the pair sped from one video to another,till they got to a bridge.

Irene was slightly farther ahead,and started climbing up the let out a yelp as some started climbing her legs. She looked around to see a policeman start to look for the turned,so she was sitting on the edge,and signaled Sherlock to stop climbing,which he 's later,the policeman joined them.

"You alright,miss?"

"Yes,thank you."Her accent had changed from to normal New Yorker to something like Sherlock's.

"What are you doing here all alone,if you don't mind me asking?"

"Well,I won't be alone long,I hope."

"really?Why is that?"

"Well,I'm waiting for my boyfriend. Hes due in a couple of minutes,actually."

"Ah. Have a good day,miss."

"You too."She watched the dejected policeman walk off.

"Now that was mean."She looked down to see Sherlock,who was now holding onto the wall,resting his chin on her knees.

"Not as mean as this."

She flipped back,hitting him upside the chin. He was dazed,but managed to hold on. She landed on her feet and was back to running when he pulled himself up and followed.

5 minutes later,Irene had won,and Sherlock had payed for hot dogs and water. They were now perched on top of a boulder out of the view of the nearest CCTV cameras,overlooking the pond. Irene had taken off her coat and was lying on it,Sherlock doing the same with his coat. She had also taken off her hat and taken out her ponytail holder. In the direct sunlight,a ray that had forced its way through the shade,highlighted that her hair wasn't the dark brown/almost black as he originally thought,but a red-brown. Irene was just laying there,eyes closed. Her hair was fanned out above her head,and Sherlock was inspecting it.

He looked down at her calm face and felt a sudden urge to experiment. It was a total crap shoot,he didn't know if it would work or what would happen,but he was going to try.

Irene had been relaxing when all of a sudden,she was being kissed. 5 seconds later,when it let up,she opened her eyes to see Sherlock Holmes. She gave a half smile.

"_Thats_ what I forgot to do."She reached up and pulled his head down for another.


	5. Ain't No Other Man

An hour later, and mostly everybody had drifted away from the CCTV cameras, since neither had been seen since a half an hour before that. Everyone was milling around calmly when a voice echoed from the desk.

John and Mary had left for lunch a little before that.

"Hey, everybody! Holmes and Adler are having a domestic!"

"Where?"

"Across the street!"

There was a sudden stampede for the elevator.

Across the street, an almighty row was in play.

"How can anyone be such an utter douche bag, especially someone who's supposed to be so smart?"

"What I want to know is, how could anyone be such a bitch? But wait! You're an American. It must come so easily to you."

They were surrounded by a group of pedestrians, who were being joined by the police officers.

"Sherlock Holmes, if I ever see your face again, it's going to go under a _bus_!"She pulled and hit him right on the jaw, sending him back a few steps. He straightened up, caressing his jaw with a look of total shock on his face.

Which is when Irene burst out laughing. Very shortly, she was joined by Holmes.

"I'm-I'm sorry."She walked towards Sherlock, both of them supporting each other."It's just-the look on your face-"Both dissolved into a chorus of giggles.

Lestrade moved forward.

"What the hell were you two doing?"Both looked up at him, their giggles subsiding.

"We were getting your attention. C'mon."They both turned and walked off towards the bridge. Lestrade and everyone else followed behind.

"Lemme see your jaw."Irene reached up and carefully traced Sherlock's cheekbone. He tried to concentrate on walking straight. "Yeah, it'll just bruise, but you'll live."

"Will I?"

"I would hope so."

With small smiles, they walked up to the bridge, where the policeman from earlier was watching over a tall, muscley, and heavily beat up man.

"This is Sebastian Moran, one of Moriarty's henchmen."

"He's an assassin."

"And…you couldn't just have texted us about it?"

"Why? The other way is more fun."Both had huge grins across their faces.

All of a sudden, something in Irene and Sherlock's coats vibrated. It turned out to be their phones.

They both pulled them out and read the text, and then read the other's text. Then they looked at each other.

"What?"

Irene looked back at her phone.

"Well, my former boss wants to talk to us."

"Can we go?"Lestrade sighed long-sufferingly.

"Yes, you two can go."

They unlaced and started walking back towards the building.

5 minutes later, they were walking into Irene's boss-if-she-wasn't-suspended's office. The head of undercover agents was there was well.

"Sit down." Irene did. Sherlock stayed standing, behind her and off to the side.

"What do you want us here for?"

"We have a job for you two. It involves Moriarty."Both stiffened slightly."If you could do it-"

"You won't be liable if something happens to one of us."

"Basically, yes."

"Uh-huh. What, exactly, do you want us to do?"

"Well, the word on the street will be that Sherlock Holmes has joined the dark side."

"I bet it's for the cookies."The two snickered, but the heads were serious.

"This suspicion is going to be underlined by Mr. Holmes abruptly leaving his inhabitance and moving to Ms. Adler's."On the other side of the desk, eyebrows were raised.

"They will live together, stay together, and steal together."

"Steal what?"

"A plan that we know Moriarty needs. From what we can tell, he is sending a lackey. We had the police leave before your assassin woke up."

"Now this whole plan only goes if you two agree. Do you?"

Irene looked up at Sherlock, who had been silent for the entire interview.

"Whatcha think?"

Sherlock looked down and read her face, conscious that she was doing the same. Both knew that they couldn't do it without each other, and wouldn't do without each other. He gave a half nod.

Irene looked back at the heads.

"Yes."


	6. Hey, Soul Sister

Hours later, Sherlock walked past the living room and into his own room. John stuck his head out.

"Ah, Sherlock. I just got home, I was wondering what had happened to…you…"He raised an eyebrow when Sherlock ignored him."Sherlock?" He followed the taller man into his room."Sherlock, what the-"

Sherlock turned and started whispering.

"Look, John, I can't really talk about it right now, but I have to go." He turned and pulled out a suitcase, which he started putting cloths in.

"What? Why?"

"Like I said, I really don't have time. Just, do me a favor, start packing up my stuff. Make it look as if I moved out."

"Fine."

Holmes zipped up his suitcase and gave John a brief smile.

"Thanks." He turned and went back downstairs and to the waiting taxi. He handed in his bag to someone in the taxi and entered after it.

As they drove off, Irene leaned back on the seat.

"You don't have many cloths, do you?"

"No, not really. Why?"

"Huh. Maybe we should take you shopping."She grinned as he rolled his eyes, though he returned the smile.

"Let's get settled in, first. Okay?"

"Fiiiiine."

They pulled up to an apartment complex. Irene gave the driver a couple of bills and followed Sherlock out of the taxi.

"Guess where I live." Sherlock looked around.

"3rd floor."

"You so read the buzzer sticker."

"Uh-huh."

They smiled at each other as they made their way to the elevator. Sherlock punched the 3rd floor button and leaned against the back wall next to Irene before scanning for the security camera. He waved, causing Irene to raise an eyebrow.

"Why?"

"My brother is probably watching right now."

"Wait, Mycroft is your brother?"

"You know him?"Irene snorted

"Your darling brother blackmailed me into being his arm candy for a while until I stopped caring and, for lack of a better term, broke up with him. That is probably how my boss found ou-What?"

Sherlock had been looking down at her, just watching her face. She raised her eyebrow.

Sherlock leaned down the few inches separating them and kissed her. 5 seconds later, he pulled back slightly, and they smiled at each other. Sherlock switched the bag in his hands, and-tentatively-wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Just as tentatively, she wrapped an arm around his waist. Blushing like mad, they walked out of the elevator when they got to her floor.

Irene pulled out her keys and unlocked the door, and they, though reluctantly, broke apart before walking in to an apartment not unlike Sherlock and John's, if you're comparing tidiness.

"Kitchen in there, bathroom down the hall on the left."

"Bedroom on the right?"

"However did you guess?" She shrugged off hear coat, and threw it on the couch, where her hat quickly joined it."And if you're contemplating taking advantage of me later tonight, warn me ahead of time so I won't break something on your skull."She smirked and walked into the kitchen.

Sherlock raised an eyebrow, which was accompanied by a half smile, as he took off his own coat. His normal suit jacket came off, as well, leaving him in a white oxford shirt. He followed Irene into the kitchen.

"What are you doing?"

"Makin' tea. You want a cup?"

"Black or green?"

"Chai."

"So, half and half."

"Yeah."

"Fiiiine." She smiled at his half-assed attempt to imitate her.

Irene put the water on to boil.

"Wanna help me do a bug sweep?"

"Sure."

The two turned and went about going over the apartment with a fine tooth comb.

Irene finished first, dumping her findings on an empty spot on the counter before retrieving a couple of clean mugs. She was just done pouring the water in and dropping a teabag in each cup when Sherlock came in with another armful of mini spy devices on top of the pile.

"Did you get the-"

"Yes."He held up the E.M.P. gun that he had found on the way. She smiled, which sent an illogical shiver down his spine.

She took out a cell phone and handed it to him, taking the gun. "I modified it. Next room should suffice."

Sherlock left, with surprising grace.

"And, Sherlock?"He stopped in the door."You do anything to my phone that isn't holding it; they will never find the body."He stiffened, only slightly, and walked out of the room. She grinned and shot the pile, an electric whine echoing through the room as she did so."All clear." She swept the pile into a Zip-Loc and tossed it. Sherlock walked back in and looked around, to see her place two mugs on the now empty counter space.

"Milk's in the fridge. Now, where did I put the sugar…"

She closed her eyes. Sherlock paused to watch her think, which seemed familiar in a weird way. He started moving again when she stirred. He was straightening up again when she pulled the sugar out of the microwave.

"Experiment?"

"Yeah."Irene grabbed a tablespoon and walked towards the mugs. She tossed out the teabag and scooped two spoonfuls into her tea before pushing them towards Sherlock before taking a sip of her drink. Her eyes closed and Sherlock stopped, for the second time in as many minutes, to watch her body expression. This time, however, he recognized it. Specifically, from when he opened his eyes before her when they kissed.

"What?"

He jumped slightly.

"No, its just-whats with the expression?"

"Oh,um...It just tastes good."

Sherlock couldn't stop the grin from spreading across his face, and put away the milk and sugar. Irene looked confused and amused.

"What?"

"Nothing."He picked up his mug and tried to smother the grin.

"Seriously, what?"

"Like I said, nothing."

She huffed.

"You can be annoying, can't you."

"Its been mentioned on numerous occasions."

She glanced down at her phone.

"Mythbusters starts in 5 minutes. Its a entire marathon."

"What are waiting for?"

They smiled at each other and walked towards the living room.

"Let the games begin."

**FYI-I edited the last three chapters very slightly after I had a brainwave of epic proportions, so check it out.**

**R&R, you know the drill. ;)  
**


	7. SOS

It was hours later. The TV had been turned off at some point, so the room was illuminated from the outside.

Irene had fallen asleep,using one of Sherlock's legs as a pillow. Sherlock had fallen asleep, as well, but had woken up not long ago. Though he had been slightly out of it, he had near immediately captivated by the sleeping woman.

While committing every inch, every centimeter, to memory, he was also trying to figure out what the weird, unexplainable, and thoroughly illogical feeling that was making it feel like it was hard to breath when he looked at her. He fiddled with a strand of her hair as he acknowledged that there wasn't any sound medical description for it.

As if sensing his confusion, Irene's eyes fluttered open.

"Mmmn...Sherlock,why are you staring at me?"

"'Cause."

"Stalker Sociopath...no, strike that, reverse it."

"Please, I only stalk the bad guys."

"Good thing I used to be a bad guy."She was starting to drop off to sleep."Love you, Sherly..."

"Don't call me-"He stopped short when he registered what she had said.

Then he made a decision.

"Love you, too."

The sides of her mouth curled up into a smile as she fell the rest of the way to sleep.

The next morning...

When Irene woke up, Sherlock had finally fallen asleep. She smiled slightly and sat up,gently tugging the lock of hair he had been playing with out of his grasp. She smiled wider and disappeared into the kitchen.

When Sherlock woke up, he took in his surroundings,vaguely remembering that there was someone else was there. Possibly the same person who had straightened him out on the sofa, and covered him with a blanket...

...And suspending a mug of tea in front of his face.

"Good Morning."

He followed the arm up to Irene's face and the sides of his mouth twitched up.

"Morning."He pushed himself up and took the cup. Irene sat next to him, and they drank their beverages in silence.

"If you were not assigned this, what would you be doing?"

"Probably wander aimlessly around the neighborhood."

"Mind if I tag along?"

"Fine."

"When we were sweeping for bugs yesterday, you had a entire closet full of cloths for a male around 6' tall and on the leaner side. Former boyfriend?"

"Oh, hell no. Whoever lived here before me left all their stuff behind."There was a glint in his eye, and she gave a half smile."Alright, lets go, then."

She got up and led the way to her room, pushing open a closet to reveal a couple feet of cloths and shoes. They both stood back and looked it over.

Irene moved forward and pulled out a black t-shirt, a pair of jeans, and a pair of Converse not unlike her own. She handed them to Sherlock, who looked more than a little suspicious and defiantly surprised.

"How did-"

"Oh, please. I'm just as smart as you, and it wasn't that much of a leap."

He raised a eyebrow, took the cloths and walked away. She closed the door behind him and went back to her own closet.

15 minutes later...

Sherlock Holmes walked out of Irene Adler's bathroom, wearing jeans and a t-shirt. He walked towards the living room and let his clothing fall on a chair. Irene, who was wearing white cargo pants, a white tank top, and white Converse All Stars. She looked up and smiled.

"Looks good. Not quite used to it yet?"She pushed off the couch and walked over."Oi. Upper class British people and their suits. Don't get me wrong, its really cute, but..."She stopped in front of him."This is sooo much better."

Sherlock swallowed,fighting back the blush again. She gave a smirky half smile.

"Shall we?"She lead the way out of the house.

A hour later...

They walked past a basketball court, which had about five shady looking, muscly guys who flocked to the gate when Irene walked by, huge grins on their faces.

"Hey, Adler? Whats up?"

"Good. How are you guys?"

"Were fine. Who's the guy?"

"Holmes."They raised eyebrows and looked Sherlock over. Then, unexpectedly, they all grinned.

"Hey, thanks man."

"We owe you."Sherlock looked slightly confused.

"For...what, exactly?"Irene explained.

"The guys you bring in are a threat to the average criminal's work. You bring them in."

"Hey, Adler! You wanna play a game?" He threw a basket ball up into the air."You can replace Eddie. He twisted his ankle."

She seemed to contemplate it and pulled out a ponytail holder, which she used to make a (you guessed it) ponytail. She grinned.

"Sure."She jogged around the gate and caught the ball that was thrown at her, dribbling it into the court,followed by the other five. In moments, she was in the middle of a heated game. Sherlock walked slowly around the gate, watching. She was winning from practice and physical prowess. She was smaller, thinner, and more agile, while the others had brute strength. She could also run faster, which made it easier to get to either side of the court.

She ran and jumped, letting the ball slide through the net. She grinned.

"Ha. I won."

She dropped to the ground, and straightened up in front of Sherlock, who was holding the ball. She raised a eyebrow, but her mouth started to curl up on the sides.

"Boys, were going to need the court for a while." The thugs shared glances as they walked off the court, but stayed close by.

And then the games began.

For the next half hour, the two fought in a heated battle much like the chess game, and only slightly sweatier. This time, however Sherlock won.

Irene gave a half smile.

"Be right back."She walked off to the gym across the street.

Sherlock dribbled the ball once, and looked up to see himself surrounded. They all had their arms crossed and eyebrows raised.

"Irene's like a sister to us; we wouldn't like to see her sad or disappointed about a relationship."

"You haven't seen her after a bad break up: We have."

"Now, you seem to be closer to her than most of her former boyfriends, which gives you one up."

"But, if you break her heart?"

"We'll break your spine. Get it?"

"Got it."

10 minutes later,they were all playing a game of basketball when Irene came back in a lightweight black halter top and dark jeans,with black and white versions of the shoes she had just had on.

Sherlock broke off and walked over.

"If you want to take a shower and get changed, just use locker 328, you know the password."

When he came back(in a blue shirt,jeans,and the same shoes) she was just talking. He slowed down at the gate as he watched them, thinking.

So, to reiterate:

-his girlfriend (the word gave him a strange feeling, as if a ball of fur had burrowed into his chest) was a ex con,who was just as smart as he was.

-she was friends with the local criminal population

-and she was (to use a word John frequented from watching his Sci-Fi) kick ass.

Yeah, this might actually work out.

Irene looked up,and she had the half smile again.

"Ah, he's here. Shall we?"

"Sure."

She waved back at the group as she walked towards him, and they walked away in a comfortable silence.

A half hour later...

When they were walking back to her place, the club down the street had opened up.

"Its a club."

"No shit, Sherlock. What _about_ the club?"

"I think I want to go in."Irene raised a eyebrow, but not gleaning any answers, nodded.

I think that can be arranged."

The bouncer,who recognized her, let them in.

2 hours later...

Lestrade was getting worried. He had texted Sherlock 5 times about a case, and he still hadn't answered.

Grasping at straws, he called Sherlock's phone and put him on speaker so he could concentrate on the file.

To his surprise, the phone picked it up.

A slightly out-of-breath, female, American voice spilled out of the speaker.

"He'll text you later."The line disconnected.

Lestrade stopped and looked up. Sally and Anderson had the same wide-eyed look that said everything Lestrade felt, telling him that they had heard that too.

He coughed.

"Right, we'll have to do without Holmes for this case."

**So, yeah, slight twist...**

**Anyway,feedback please, people!**

**R&R, please!  
**


	8. The First Move

_They were walking into the club. Some band called Boy Talks Trash was playing. Somehow,though they were both wearing the most cloths in the entire club, they still managed to be the hottest two people there. Sherlock was looking around, as a song started to made her way towards the dance floor_,_ followed by Sherlock. She turned and they started to dance._

_**Get out your seat,**_  
_**Head towards the floor,**_  
_**You know your itching to.**_  
_**The lights are blinding, bulbs are flashing,**_  
_**As your sweeping through.**_

_**You made the first move I'll admit that,**_  
_**But the second one was plain to see**_  
_**And if you just don't want to play these games **_  
_**Then baby come dance with me.**_

_**You made the first move I'll admit that,**_  
_** But the second one was plain to see**_  
_** And if you just don't want to play these games **_  
_** Then baby come dance with me.**_  
_**DANCE WITH ME**_

_**I'm not your LIFE.**_  
_**I'm not your necessity.**_  
_**I'm not your LIFE.**_  
_**I'm just a drug you need.**_

_**You made the first move I'll admit that,**_  
_**But the second one was plain to see**_  
_**And if you just don't want to play these games **_  
_**Then baby come dance with me.**_

_**You made the first move I'll admit that,**_  
_** But the second one was plain to see**_  
_** And if you just don't want to play these games **_  
_** Then baby come dance with me.**_  
_**DANCE WITH ME**_

_**DANCE WITH ME**_

_**DANCE WITH ME**_

_**DANCE WITH ME**_

_**You made the first move**_

_**first move**_

_**You made the first move**_

_**first move**_

_**You made the first move**_

_**first move**_

_**You made the first move**_

_**first move**_

_**move**_

_**You made the first move I'll admit that,**_  
_**But the second one was plain to see**_  
_**And if you just don't want to play these games **_  
_**Then baby come dance with me.**_

_**You made the first move I'll admit that,**_  
_**But the second one was plain to see**_  
_**And if you just don't want to play these games **_  
_**Then baby come dance with me.**_

_**Ba-ba-baby**_

_**Come dance with me,**_

_**dance with me.**_

_The music stopped and they stood their, breathing hard._

_"Bed."_

_"My thoughts exactly." They made their way to the back door,and all the way up to her apartment,not touching in a unspoken rule._

_One that was broken the second the door closed._

_They didn't move apart for quite a while after that._

Irene opened her eyes to see the still sleeping Sherlock Holmes. She grinned and got up,disappearing into the bathroom.

A hour later...

Two nervous suits walked up to the door of Irene's apartment and wrung the bell.

Half a minute later,the door opened to see Irene in a bathrobe and towel dried hair. She looked them over, earning horribly concealed gulps and blushes.

"Your here. Finally. Sherlock should be out of the shower by now."

She turned and walked into the living room.

"But-"She turned to look at the suit who talked."You look like you just got out of the shower."

"I did."She turned."So did he. Find a seat"She disappeared into her bedroom, leaving the two blushing on the couch.

10 minutes later,Irene and Sherlock walked out,both wearing jeans and a t-shirt with slightly damp hair.

"So what are we stealing today?"

"Um, I really don't know."He pulled a folder out and handed it to opened it and Irene read it over his shoulder. She scoffed, earning a eyebrow from Sherlock.

"I'm sorry,I thought that they were going to give us something hard." She snagged a i.d. card."I'm going to get dressed. Show the nice assistants out,will you."She disappeared down the hall.

Sherlock walked to the door and opened it. He stared at them until they left. He closed it after them and took out the other i.d. card,looking it over.

2 hours later, one Mr. Blackwell was leaving his office. He was walking down the front steps, when he walked into a girl,who fell back. He caught himself and looked her over.

She was wearing sling-backs and a tulip skirt,with a white blouse. Her hair was back in a bun and glasses. a black messenger bag was over her shirt. She groaned.

"Oh,I'm sorry!"He walked down the stairs and helped her up. She steadied her self and smiled.

"Thanks."Her accent was typical of the area. She peered up at him through her glasses."Are you okay?"

"Sure, I'm fine."All of a sudden, there was the sound off running footsteps. A tall man with curly black hair and glasses, wearing a suit and a messenger bag of his own, ran up.

"Mary? Are you alright? I was just coming up the block and saw you fall."

"I'm alright, John."She smiled at Mr. Blackwell."Thanks again."

She walked up the steps, repeatedly reassuring John that she was fine.

They both walked into the building and scanned through the security desk.

They went up to the third floor and through the aisles, to a back closet. 'John' looked down at 'Mary'.

"Did you get it?"She flicked Mr. Blackwell's i.d. card in front of the scanner.

"Watch the door for me."She walked in and closed the door behind her. She pulled out a pair of gloves and carefully went through all the boxes,pulling out one. She popped the top and pulled out a thick folder,which she stuck in her bag. She snapped off the gloves and put them away too. She dropped the i.d. card in the box and put it back.

She walked out, with him walking next to her.

"Get it?"

"Got it."

"Good."

They walked out the door 3 minutes later. As they walked away, Irene and Sherlock took off the glasses,and Irene pulled out a pin, turning her bun into a ponytail.

"Home?"

"Yup."

"Bed."

"Oh,hell yes."

They smiled at each other,and walked to a taxi,holding hands.

**Too gooey,or is it alright?**

**I wanna know! T_T**

**So,R&R please!**


	9. Please Don't Go

This morning, it was Sherlock who was awake first. He looked down at the sleeping head, using his chest as a pillow. His fingers tangled with his hair as he mulled things over.

It was...weird. It seemed,from peoples observations and from his own feelings, Irene made him feel and act...different, even comparatively normal.

It was, of course,different, but not in a bad way.

Hours later, she finally woke up, and he was still looking at her analytically,like he did a crime scene. She propped her cin on her arm,looking up at him.

"What did I do?"

"I'm...not sure."She raised a eyebrow.

"Okay."She pushed herself up and kissed him. "Let me know when you figure it out."

He gave a half smile and pushed up,pulling her back in. They were like that for about five minutes when the doorbell wrung.

They sighed in chorus and rolled away from each other. Sherlock,who was dressed first,was honored with the roll of getting the door, though he had the feeling that Irene was dragging it out on purpose.

He opened the door and scowled at the sight of his older brother, who pushed past him and into the room. The door closed unnecessarily hard.

"What do you want?"

"To get the plans the Professor wanted. Also to check on my little brother,of course. How are you holding up against our little convict?"

"Don't call her that."The words came out hard,biting."From what I heard, you seemed to think more highly of her when she made you look good."He smirked-not the way Irene did,which somehow managed to put across that whatever you had done to make her right turned her waaaay on-cruelly as his brother's face started turning white.

"Shes playing you, Sherlock."

"Oh, really?"

"Really."

"Just like she was playing you?"

"Exactly."

"So she slept with you too,huh?"

"Absolut-wait,what?"The smirk came back,full force.

"She may have been playing you,Mycroft,but she doesn't have complete and utter contempt for me."

"Nope."Sherlock half turned to see Irene(who was smirking) leaning against the wall in a sundress,holding the folder with the plans."Quite the opposite, in fact."She padded over to Sherlock's side (he rotated to watch her walk) and she handed the folder to Mycroft."Have fun. Goodbye."

Mycroft looked about to say something,but thought better of it. Maybe it was the woman who he had conned into dating him, maybe it was the way his brother's face seemed to light up when he saw the afore mentioned woman, but whatever it was, it made him think that Sherlock had grown up enough to look after himself, for at least a little while. With this thought in mind, he kept his mouth shut and left the apartment.

Sherlock, after a moments silence, hugged Irene. Irene tentatively, as if worried that she'd scare him off, hugged him back. After a moment of more comfortable silence, they both leaned back slightly, but not far enough not to lose each others body heat. She searched his face.

"Shouldn't ask?"

"Rather you didn't."

"M'kay."She yawned slightly. He smiled down at the first girl who had stayed till morning, the first girl who he could connect with, the first girl that could help him...feel. Subconsciously, he knew if she left him alone, it didn't really matter for how long, he would retract back into his cold, hard, analytical shell, the one both John and Irene had started helping him out of. The girl who also hadn't gotten much sleep within the last 12 hours.

He gently disengaged one arm and half supported, half carried her back to the bedroom. Wordlessly, they both curled up under the covers, to sleep, perchance to dream. Somebody had said that, though he didn't quite remember who. As he dropped off to sleep, his last thoughts were what whats-his-name wanted to dream _about._

**R&R!**

**I want to know what you think!  
**


	10. Who's that Chick? 2

4 days ago...

John Watson and Mary Morstan were watching one Sherlock Holmes and one Irene Adler play chess.

"He's...acting...human..."

"Forget him,_shes_ acting human!"

"I take it thats rare?"

"Hell yes!"

"Wait,what does he mean,a hour and a half?"

"Don't ask me,thats when I got-"John blinked."Home. So that's why he was smiling."

They all looked back at the room, where Sherlock had settled in and was setting up the board. He held up to bags,one with white pieces,the other with black.

"Which side?"

"Do I really need to answer that?"

"Very well,your majesty."Irene caught the the baggy with the black pieces in it.

"Thank you,Sir Holmes."She opened it and started setting up her side.

Watson put two and two together."Black queen and White knight..."

"What?"

"She's the black queen,he's the white knight!"

They went back to watching. When the call for bets went up, the two looked at each other, placing a silent 5 pound bet on their friend.

A hour and a half later, Irene rolled her eyes and picked up her queen.

"Its not how many you have,-"She took one knight."-what you-"She took the second knight."-do with them.""She took his king."Checkmate."

Mary, with a half smile, held open a palm,which was ready for the fiver that was deposited in it.

**So yeah,I left them behind in Chapter 3,so I thought I'd go back for them.**

**R&R!**


	11. Girlfriend,I Kissed a Girl 2

**Side Note:Thanks to all of my readers in the U. S. , U. K., Australia, France, Canada, Russian Federation, Hungary, Netherlands, Germany, Serbia & Montenegro, Italy, Poland, Mexico, Singapore, Bangladesh, Slovakia, Denmark, Switzerland, Sweden, Ireland, Iceland, New Zealand, Portugal, Chile, Panama, Croatia, Israel, Brazil, Philippines, Norway, India, Spain, Puerto Rico, Republic of Korea, Costa Rica, Indonesia, Bulgaria, Belgium, Japan, Uruguay, Greece, and my two viewers in unlisted countries, for taking my story hits above 2,000 this month!**

When they had listened to Sherlock and Irene switch to French, John and Mary were among the first out the door. They had to stop temporarily to let Sally punch in the number of the floor with the CCTV cameras. Once they got upstairs, they were the ones pointing out where Sherlock and Irene were, smirking when Irene kneed him in the jaw, and awing when they left the screen. 5 minutes later, when neither appeared, the crowd started to break away, along with John and Mary.

"So."Mary turned to face John."You work with Ms. Adler, Ms..."

"Morstan, but you can call me Mary."

"Nice to meet you. John."They shook.

"You work with Holmes?"

"Sherlock? Oh, yeah."She watched his face for a minute.

"Don't you hate it when they wake you up at two in the morning because they figured something out?"

"And then look at you funny when you ask them what?"

"But you're the only one that they would deign to give a answer to?"

They both grinned, basking in the warm light of a kindred spirit.

"Lunch?"

"Sure."They walked out, walking to the nearest Chinese place and spent the next half hour talking about the various quirks of their various partners. Then Sarah walked up to the table.

"John."He looked up, and then got up.

"Sarah! I didn't know-"

"John, who's this?"Mary swallowed the mouthful of food she had been chewing.

"Mary Morstan, she's a friend."

"Really."She looked about to rail into John when Mary spoke up.

"Yes, really."Sarah stopped and turned towards the other woman.

"Oh, really?" Her voice was charged with disbelief.

"Really."Mary's voice was calm and collected."A friend of mine is a friend of Sherlock Holmes, and they sort of left us behind. Me and John went to lunch to bitch about our mutual colleges."She looked up at the girl."Why do you care, anyway? Its not like you two are romantically involved."She gave a half smile."From what I know of Sherlock Holmes, Its hard to keep a relationship up around him."

John looked relieved: Sarah looked mortified.

"I-I-"

"Yes, hun, I know. I'm a malicious, mean, and cruel person who is not fit to kiss the ground you walk on. Now go away, please, your ruining my appetite."

Sarah stalked off and John looked back at Mary.

"That isn't the first time you've had to do that."

"Very good. They rub off on you, don't they? Mentally, I mean."

"Oh yes."He sighed slightly.

"What?"

"Well, you're right, after that date Sarah and I sort of...drifted away, but she is my boss."

"What do you do?"

"I'm a doctor. Ex-army."

"Well, there is a opening at St. Barts, they need a doctor."

"How do you know?"

"I teach basic training and hand to hand combat. Truthfully, you're going to get most of you patients from me."

"Were you overseas?"

"Nope, because I was quote-unquote 'too valuable at home'. The reality is that the Assignments Officer wanted into my pants, and it would be a trifle harder to do so if I was in the middle east."

"I broke his arm and he was Dishonorably discharged."

**R&R**

**You know the drill!**


	12. Do You Wanna Date My Avatar?

Later, when John got home, he dug him laptop out from under a stack of Sherlock's papers. He settled into his chair as he powered up his computer and logged onto his email. clicking into his trash, he scrolled through all the emails from the army, stopping at a likely one from a St. Barts email address. After reading it thoroughly, he sent a email back to the recruitment officer-the new recruitment officer, he reminder himself with a smile- that he had thought it over and would be delighted to be the main Doctor for the training soldiers, and when could he start. Barley 5 minutes had past when a positively ecstatic email from the afore mentioned officer saying that he was very happy he had accepted, along with a pdf of the papers he needed to fill out.

A half and hour later, as John was still typing out his application, he heard the door open and Sherlock's familiar tread boom up the stairs and towards his room. Watson put his laptop on the coffee table and wandered out to the hallway.

"Ah, Sherlock. I just got home, I was wondering what had happened to…you…"He raised an eyebrow when Sherlock ignored him."Sherlock?" He followed the taller man into his room."Sherlock, what the-"

Sherlock turned and started whispering.

"Look, John, I can't really talk about it right now, but I have to go." He turned and pulled out a suitcase, which he started putting cloths in.

"What? Why?"

"Like I said, I really don't have time. Just, do me a favor, start packing up my stuff. Make it look as if I moved out."

"Fine."

Holmes zipped up his suitcase and gave John a brief smile.

"Thanks." He turned and went back downstairs and to the waiting taxi. He handed in his bag to someone in the taxi and entered after it. John saw the whole exchange, and had a sneaking suspicion about the person-more accurately, woman-he was joining. However, he would have to confirm. He picked up his phone as he walked back to his seat, pulling his laptop onto his lap as he flicked his phone open and went into his address book. By the time the phone stopped ringing, he was already typing.

"Hey, Mary? Yeah, its John. I was wondering, have you heard from Irene? Yeah? Mind telling what she said? Ah, that explains it. Well, Sherlock came in and told me that he needed me to start packing his stuff, and look like he was moving. Yeah, I could use some help. Alright, see you in a hour? Thanks. Bye." He hung up and started typing again.

A half an hour later, he had sent back the application and closing up his laptop. He got up and went into his room, leaving his laptop on his bed as he gathered all the deconstructed boxes from when he moved in.

A half an hour after that, there was a knock on the door. Mrs. Hudson was out visiting family, so John jogged downstairs to get it.

Standing in the door was long blonde hair was swept back in a bun,and she was wearing a black denim jacket with was carrying two handfuls of bags full to brimming with Chinese food. She smiled back at him.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"C'mon in."John closed the door after her and pointed her up the stairs. She led the way up and placed the bags on a empty peice of counter.

"Damn. Looks like Irene's place. Except slightly messier."She turned to John as she took off her jacket,revealing a grey sweater polo shirt. So, clean up some, and then food?"

"Sounds like a plan."

They smiled at each other and set to work packing stuff away. About a hour and a half later, with boxes piled high and a significantly cleaner house (as in there were great swaths of floor everywhere,and much more surface space. Sherlock's body parts got stuck in a cooler all to themselves in the corner of the fridge, after the entire thing had been disinfected), the two took a break and wandered back to the still warm Chinese food. With the kitchen table completely clean and only a couple random piles of books in the living room, John battled with himself as to which he would rather eat in. It was decided the living room, because John had all the seasons of Merlin, and both of them like it. Spreading all the food across the now empty coffee table, they sat on the floor,leaning against the couch as the show started


	13. Pocketful of Sunshine

Hours later, John looks up to see the light pouring in the window.  
"Its morning already?"  
Mary looks up as well.  
"Seriously? Oh well, at least its Saturday."  
"There is that." John got up, working all the kinks out of his back."Tea?"  
"Love a cup."Mary paused the tv and got up as well, clearing away some garbage from the take out dinner, taking it into the kitchen and tossing it. She took the cup of tea and sipped gratefully.  
"So." John looked up at her."I'm gonna crash on your couch for a couple of hours, and then I'll help you clean out his room, if that's alright with you."  
"Don't you want to get home?"  
"No, I'm really tired."  
"Then that's fine. I was going to get some sleep as well." They shared tired smiles and waddled off their separate ways, to sleep.

8 hours later, John woke up again and went downstairs, smiling slightly at the sight of the sleeping girl as he walked into the kitchen in jeans and a plain grey t-shirt. Just as he was pouring the tea, Mary shuffled into the kitchen after him. Her blond hair was roped around her collar bone, and she had ditched the jacket and her boots, looking like a tired Buffy.  
"Mor-Afternoon."  
"Afternoon."  
"Tea?"  
"Please."  
They spent the next hour sipping tea and talking, two hours after that cleaning out Sherlock's room (during which there was a incident involving purple gel in a test tube and a unfortunate mouse), and then ordering Chinese take out and watching more Merlin.

Peaceful, calm and comfortable,John looked across the couch at the girl, who was relaxing as well. If it was for the same reason as him it was because living with Irene/Sherlock was barley ever peaceful. He smiled and sunk back into the show.

**Sorry for this being late,everybody, and it being so short, but its been a hectic week and I'm beat. **

**I'll try to write more later.**

**R&R!**


	14. Poisoning Pigeons in the Park

They actually got to sleep at a some what reasonable hour (well, midnight, but still) and woke up at 8. Mary borrowed one of John's shirts and was lounging on a chair in the kitchen.

"Wanna go for a walk?"  
"Sure."

Mary pulled on her sneakers and coat, joining John and making their way out the door.

"So, how did you meet Irene?"  
"Police training. She was a American who moved over here and joined the British police force, and they train with the military. I was still teaching back then, and she was the first to ever kick my ass first go. We became good friends, and I because the quote-unquote 'loyal sidekick'."  
"I was looking for a flat mate."  
"Huh."  
"Yeah. When did you figure out that she was a thief?"  
"She told me."  
"Really?"  
"Twenty-something year old orphans from the Bronx don't become rich enough to move here and live on a policeman's salary while renting a apartment."  
"True."

They wandered into a nearby dog park and played with the dogs, while their bored owners chatted in a corner. As the parked emptied, they left and got food at a greek stand and lunched in the park. The lounged on a bench overlooking a pond, and talked, about this and that, everything and anything, while content smiled and entangled fingers said everything they weren't.

**Sorry for the short chapters, I just...**

**Lets put it this way, I know how it ends,I don't know how to get there just yet. **

**R&R, please!  
**


	15. Hot & Cold

It had been a while, and they were starting to worry about Sherlock and Irene. They could both tell when they woke up one morning and there was a empty feeling in both of them. They had shared a look and had made their way around the neighborhood, because fuck the con, This was too much

-

It was later that night, and Irene had led the way to a popular night club. She was wearing a pair of dark jeans and a black halter top with her converse. Sherlock was wearing a oxford shirt, jeans, converse, and a leather jacket. As they walked, her arm eventually wrapped around his waist and his around her shoulders, and they walked in a comfortable silence to the door, where they were let in, much to the dismay of the block long line of people waiting to get in.

They walked in under the cover of loud music and moving bodies, going to the bar. Irene reclined on a bar stool and Sherlock leaned over her. Both didn't drink or order anything, just sitting there and being pretty.

All of a sudden, Irene stiffened, and Sherlock followed her gaze to short man with black hair and disturbingly big eyes, who was in a suit, surrounded by military types. Both got up and started making their way towards the back, followed by the type.

Less than a minute later, Irene and Sherlock were running across London roof tops.

"Quite a interesting man your ex is."  
"I thought so, until I found out he killed my original boyfriend."  
"I didn't hear this part of the story. Original boyfriend?"  
"His name was Anthony. He was 6 foot, black hair, light eyes, and really hot."  
"Really."  
"Maybe he's having flashbacks."  
They snorted at each other and leaped over a roof-  
And into the arms of two bodyguards. Before they could react, there was a pinch on the back of the neck. and they were unconscious. 

**Alright,peoples.**

**Next chapter isn't getting posted till I find out if you like this or not.**

**I would like some feed back.**

**At least one review in exchange for the next chapter.**

**Thank you.  
**


	16. I'm Not Your Boyfriend, Baby

When Irene finally came to, she was chained to a wall in the spread eagle position.  
"Hi."  
Across the room, Sherlock was in a similar state.  
"Hey."She cracked the kink in her neck she had got from hanging limply off the wall."Wild guess, abandoned factory?"  
"Yeah."  
"Well, hello there, lovies."Both looked around to see Moriarty walk in, followed by...Molly Hooper?  
"Molly?"  
"Well, hello, Sherlock. I gather you've met my brother,then?"  
"Brother?"Irene rolled her eyes.  
"Duh, Sherlock. There brother and sister."  
The two grinned.  
"Lets get some privacy."  
"Good idea."  
A divider extended between the two, Molly on Sherlock's side, Moriarty on Irene's.

Irene & Moriarty  
"Dahling, why are you still with that stimpleton?"He walked over till he was right under her."You have much more fun with me."  
"Really?"Her voice was like melted chocolate, but her eyes glitter mischievously."Then let me down."  
"No."  
"Why not?"  
"Because I don't trust you." He turned and walked a couple of steps away, willing his stomach to stop practicing gymnastics and his breathing to dial back down to normal. Why did that woman have to be so infernally seductive?  
"Sherlock trusts me."  
"So?"  
"I let him into my pants."She fought back a grin when he stiffened."Multiple times."  
She had barley blinked and she was pinned up against the wall she was chained to, one of Moriarty's hands around her neck.  
"I-knew-you-would-be-easy-to-distract..."  
"Wha-"Moriarty was hit across the back of the head and went down like a sack of bricks. Irene coughed as Mary started picking the locks on her chains. John went about giving the unconscious man a pat down before chaining him up in Irene's place,though just his hands where her legs were chained up. Mary helped her rotate her arms and get blood flowing.  
"John? What are you-"  
"Later."Irene turned back to the divider.  
"Sherlock-"  
"Relax, he can wait."  
"No, he can't. Some girl named Molly is in there with him, and she's Moriarty's sister."  
"Short girl, long black hair, mousy?"  
"Yeah. Sherlock seemed to know her."

Molly &Sherlock  
"Sherlock, Sherlock, Sherlock. Whats a nice boy like you hooking up with a girl like Irene Adler?" She said the last two words like they needed to be boiled in bleach for a week before they were clean.  
"She's smart, beautiful, athletic, and interesting. Why are you engaging in incest with Jim?"He could barley hold back the grin when Molly bristled.  
"I'm not."Her words were sharp and supposed to be blinked, and melted back into her original state."I bet she didn't tell you about her past. You do know that she is a art thief who used to date my brother, don't you?"  
"Of course. Irene told me."She deflated slightly."She also said it was the worst mistake of her life."  
"And you believe her?"  
"Why not? So far, it would seem that she was telling the truth."He raised a eyebrow down at her."Unlike you."  
She smirked, knowingly.  
"All I know is one thing, Sherlock:by the time I'm done with you, you will think completely differently of me."She moved in, as if to kiss him.  
"Oi!"  
She wheeled around to see a pissed off Irene stalking across the floor.  
"Get your own sociopath."  
"Boring. Guards? Kill her."She turned back to Sherlock and looked about to say something when she watched his expression changed from happiness to blissful love. She turned again to see Irene take down -relatively easily-the two guards and continue stalking.  
"I was hoping I wouldn't have to do this, but-"She pulled out a gun and shot at Irene. It hit Irene's left side, sending her staggering back a few steps. Molly dropped the gun and kicked it away like it was diseased before turning to Sherlock, who's face had contorted into pure terror. This stalled Molly-Sherlock Holmes wasn't really a guy who was big on emotions-but she started again."Now. Where were we?"  
She leaned in, yet again, when a voice echoed across the chamber.  
"You bitch."Molly turned, yet again to see Irene. John and Mary were standing right behind her as she got up, a red spot spreading on her left tried to back up as Irene descended, looking around desperately for the gun just before she earned a clock on the jaw that knocked her out.  
Irene looked up at Sherlock and smiled. She leaned up and kissed him, one that he happily returned,until she teetered and fell back.  
John caught her and lay her on the ground and Molly got to work on his chains, but Sherlock only say the girl on the floor,half her shirt a dark red that seemed to merge with the floor. The second he was free he dived onto the floor next to her,his phone pressed to his ear as he desperately bid Lestrade to pick up his damn phone.

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	17. Whataya Want from Me

They were sitting in the waiting room. Irene had gone into surgery right away, and all three of them were slouched in their chairs. That is, until Sherlock spoke up.

"How do you know her?"  
"She's my step sister." Both Sherlock and Mary looked at him, wide-eyed.  
"You what?"  
John looked up and at the two on either side of him. He took a deep breath.  
"Irene Adler's parents died when she was two. She was sent to a orphanage which trained kids to be grifters and thieves. There were two groups- the grifters, who were adopted, and the theives, who broke into the adopted kids houses. Irene was bounced between the two groups, until she was adopted by a army family: a Colonel in the army, his wife, and their two kids."  
"Your family."  
"Yeah. She and I got together very well, and she spilled to me, who convinced her to tell my father, who turned them in. From the age of 15, I had a, frankly, brilliant little sister who I loved, though it made my natural sister a little jealous."He translated Sherlock's look."It would have been around the same time you were 9."  
"She said something about Anthony?"  
"He looked a lot like you. Our parent's thought they would get together, but I knew better. They were close, but not that close. Then... she disappeared for a while. Then I found her club hopping, getting very drunk every night. She slept for about three days, while I stolidly ignored Harri telling me that I should turn her out. One morning I woke up to find her gone and a note saying thanks for the bed, and she would keep in touch."He glanced at Sherlock."I think you two are good together..."  
"I share the sentiment."They shared a half smile as a nurse walked in.  
"Family of Irene Adler?"The three got up.  
"Yeah?"  
"She's out of surgery;you can see her."  
"She's conscious?"  
"No."

John and Mary walked in,but Sherlock stopped and reached into his pocket, pulling out the iPod Irene had given to him in the ambulance right before she went under. He unlocked the iPod and blinked at the playlist title that scrolled across the screen.

_Sherlock-Have fun._

He put in the earbuds as he walked in and saw her. She looked pale from blood loss, but she was sleeping calmly. Without looking down, he hit play, starting the song I Wanna to start.

John looked over to see Sherlock standing in the doorway, looking precariously close to crying. He was about to get up when Mary did. She walked up to Sherlock and tugged on his elbow, pulling him towards the bed. She deposited him on the corner of the bed and went back to her seat.

Blinking, Sherlock looked down and traced Irene's hand. It was small, generally looking well-off. Except when you saw the slightly rough parts on the palm and the minuscule calluses on the fingers.

_I wanna I wanna I wanna touch you_  
_You wanna touch me too_  
_Everyday but all I have is time_  
_Our loves the perfect crime_

He slowly took her hand, and one word ran through his mind.

Mine.

**Sorry the chapters have been so short, but I promise that my next chapter will be longer.**

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	18. RehabRihanna

When Irene came to again, she didn't opened her eyes quite yet. She first wanted to figure you what the hell was up.

Alright...  
At least 5,maybe 6 people in the room, all arguing.  
About her, it would seem.

Sherlock was sitting on Irene's bed, arguing with not only Mycroft (who had come to gloat that Irene wasn't someone it was safe to be around, probably not his smartest move)but also Sally and Lestrade,who had come to milk for evidence. John and Mary were fighting on Sherlock's side,telling them all to leave.  
"Quiet."  
The voice wasn't loud, but at the sound of it the entire room quieted down.  
"Mycroft-leave. The stench of your jealousy is going to make me hurl. Lestrade and Sally-I'll give you a statement when I'm not slightly high on Morphine. John and Mary-get me four orders of my my regular from McDonalds."With much grumbling, the room gradually emptied out,leaving the weight at the end of her bed.  
"Good Morning, Sherlock."  
"Morning."The answer was short, clipped, precise, and if you just saw that, you didn't notice the faint undertones of happiness, relief and longing. Irene pretended that she didn't.  
"Oh, that's not fair."  
"What?"  
"The fact that you are using that impeccable and downright arousing baritone of yours and mix them with those emotions. It's not fair. Too many mixed signals."She cracked her eyes opened to look over the great Sherlock Holmes, who was looking at her worriedly, with faint undertones of the longing that was present in his voice.  
"Look who's talking."  
"Whatever do you mean?"  
"You have absolutely no right to be lying there, wounded no less, and look as gorgeous as you. Not fair."  
She grinned and stretched, wincing slightly as the muscles around her wound pulled. She pretended she didn't see Sherlock stifle a wince as well.  
"We're such martyrs."  
He lay down next to her, shifting his arm so it was under her head.  
"Tell me about it."

When John and Mary came back with a large bag full of McDonalds,they walked into the private room (at least Mycroft was useful for something) to see Irene and Sherlock, curled up next to each other asleep. They were about to leave when there was a weak groan from the bed.  
"Foooooood."  
They both turned to see the just waking couple reaching for the bags. The, for lack of a better word, sidekicks looked at each other and deposited one of the large bags on Irene's lap,who pulled out a double order of water, a hamburger, and a large fries. She handed one order to Sherlock and ripped open her burger.  
"Oh, sweet mercy, cooked flesh."She started to devour her burger, as Sherlock opened his water. John and Mary retreated to the chairs on the other side of the room, taking the last two orders and devouring them: Since they hadn't let them leave while she was in surgery and unconscious, mostly so he wouldn't be alone with his brother, (and they were sympathetic and willing) they hadn't eaten for hours. All remnants of food were gone an hour later when the nurse came in to check up on her.

The nurse tried– unsuccessfully -to guilt Sherlock off the bed, and then the three out of the room. Even though Mary and John went willingly, but both Sherlock and Irene were dead against Sherlock leaving.

3 hours later, Lestrade and Donovan walked through the hospital. Sherlock had his phone turned off, and Lestrade had a case he thought Sherlock would enjoy.  
They stopped to see Sherlock asleep at the side of her bed, and Irene and curled on the bed, facing him.  
Sherlock woke up and towards the door. Irene groaned awake.  
"Whosis?"  
"Lestrade and Donovan."  
"I say again, whosis?"  
"47, male, 5'11". The other is 29, female, 5'9"."  
"Oh, them." She shifted onto her back."They got a case."  
"Indeed they do. What is the case, anyway?"  
Sally and Lestrade looked at each other and walked up, handing the case folder over to Sherlock. Irene, sort of stilted with the sling her arm was in, opened up the other side of the folder, and the two leisurely looked over the file. After about 5 minutes, the two police officers wandered over to the two seats off to the side, watching Sherlock and Irene silently converse.  
"It's the boyfriend."  
"How do you-"  
"I recognized the hat."  
"What hat?"  
"The hat next to the victim. It's not the victims. It is a hat owned by one Gregory Callahan, he's a hitter."  
"We could find him where exactly?"  
"At 11 at night? The Wendlyn 'Gentleman's' Club."  
"How do you know that?"  
"I hired him for a job."  
"Moriarty?"  
Her eyes flicked up to his face, and he gave a half nod. He looked to the detectives.  
"You heard her." Lestrade and Sally looked at each other and got up, leaving the room.  
Irene looked over at Sherlock, still half asleep, to see a look of happiness.  
"What?"  
She watched as he moved onto the bed and shifted so she could lean against him painlessly. They settled back, Sherlock wrapping his arms around Irene and buried his face in her hair, a finger gently tracing the bandage.  
"I'm glad I got you back."His voice was so quiet that he wasn't sure she had heard,but then she sighed a happy,content sigh, and pulled her uninjured hand up, and grabbed hold of his arm.  
"Love you too."

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	19. I Wanna

It was a week after Irene had been released from the hospital, and Irene was very close to a full recovery, to the surprise of the nurses and the happiness of her friends. They wandered down to the precinct to give their statements.

Hours later, when they were done, Irene wandered out into the main area and sat next to Sherlock, who was absorbed in her iPod, on a desk. John and Mary were at another desk, talking about something, though Irene wasn't paying enough attention to know what. This was were they were when Sally walked over.

John and Mary stopped and looked over, but all Irene did was pull one of the headphones out of Sherlock's ear and pop it into her own, leaning back as she scanned the CCTV cameras on the screen in front of her.

"Adler."Irene looked over lazily."What were you doing with Freak here, anyway?"

Irene thought for a moment and then at Sherlock, who had looked back at her.

"Think we should give them a hint?"  
"Probably should, they would never guess if we didn't."  
"Kay. John, hand me the keyboard."

She started typing, and the CCTV cameras were filled with videos of them, every second they were in view of one CCTV camera or another right after they first met to when she was hospitalized. She handed the keyboard back to John and leaned back again, looking coolly up at Donovan.

"Guess."

Sally barley held back a snarl before directing her attention to the screen. The quartet started grinning as her face went slack and she struggled for words. Irene gave Sherlock back the ear-bud and pushed herself up, closely followed by Sherlock,John, and Mary. Irene grinned and turned off the videos, going back to a live feed.

"See yah, Donovan."

They walked out of the building and were starting across the park when Irene realized why her hair was loose. She ordered a halt while she ran back for her fedora.

When she got back up, Sally was still trying to put together a coherent sentence for Lestrade and the slowly growing group of people. Irene walked quietly past and into the break room, walking by the pairs chatting their coffee-no, sorry, its England, so tea- break and picked up her hat off the counter. She turned to see Anderson standing right behind her, a little too close for comfort.

"Hey."His stance was macho, and a little too self absorbed.  
"Um. Hi." A eyebrow arched as Irene noticed out of the corner of her eye that everyone has stopped to watch-so he was having a affair with Sally-before she placed her hat back on the counter and started twisting her hair into a ponytail.  
"You doing anything later?"  
"Yeah. I'm having dinner with-"  
"Well, whoever it was, you can skip it."  
"Why on Earth would I do that."  
He inched closer, and Irene had to stop herself from picking up a nearby take-out chopstick and pulling a Buffy.  
"Because you can come home with me."  
"And what would induce me to do that?"  
"Because I am probably a much better lay than whoever you slept with last."  
Okay, this guy was seriously pissing her off. But Irene kept a (outward) cool, and snapped her ponytail holder over her hair.  
"I seriously doubt that."  
"Why?"  
"Your d-dating the freak!"  
Both Irene and Anderson looked to the doorway to see Sally pointing a finger at her. Anderson blanched and Irene flipped on her hat.  
"That's why."  
She made a quick escape, managing to make it outside before her face showed just how pissed she was.

Irene stalked across the grass, and stopped when Sherlock came into view.

There he was in all his Consulting Detective glory, long body stretched out on display for the vampire fan girls squeeing across the field, the perfect picture of ease and lazy contemplation, aloof in cool and unreachable calm. Irene's fingers, which had curled into fists, curled impossibly tighter, wanting to muss up all that perfection.

She could do it, she totally could. She knew exactly how to, too.

It had thrown Irene in the beginning, when Sherlock never expected the simple things, such as Irene snuggling into his chest or burying her face in his neck before falling asleep. Sherlock smiled in a way he probably thought was secret, _every damn time_. It had taken a while for the smiles to be purely content or pleased and not surprised or nervous, trying to figure out what Irene wanted.

It made her want to hit someone, somewhere, perhaps starting with Sherlock's family, all of whom were apparently hermetically sealed robots who never showed Sherlock that affection could be communicated in other ways than self-sacrifice or a casual touch could used for anything other than manipulation. Or they hugged too much, she would need to meet them to figure out which, but, considering Mycroft, she doubted it.

Having reached his quarry, Irene looked down into Sherlock's pale face with well hidden exasperated, thwarted affection and raised a eyebrow. "Help me with something?"

"Sure." Silvery eyes opened as he nodded some sort of telepathic code to John, who sprawled on a convenient rock with Mary. Irene's brother gave a half nod. Mind-meld accomplished, Sherlock rose, all effortless cockiness and loose-limbed superiority. It annoyed Irene to be so turned on by such classic, butchy, macho...whatever.

Irene curled her itchy, impatient fingers tighter, stuffing them into her pockets before she turned on her heel to march off to the boulder, the one where they had first had lunch. He had to jog a little to catch up with her, which clued him in to the fact that maybe she wasn't as calm as she looked.

"Irene?"

She sped up until she breached the cool shade of the wall of rock. Whirling, she grabbed Sherlock by the front of his jacket, shoved him against the cold wall and kissed him. Sherlock groaned in surprise, tasting exactly as imagined - like calm rainy days - and Irene pushed against him, drinking in Sherlock's slow calm.

The sharp edges of her iPod in Sherlock's jacket dug painfully into Irene's chest. Reluctantly, she broke the kiss. Sherlock was lit up, pink ears and bright smile. "What was that for?" He whispered, laughter in his voice, lingering over her name in the way he did when they were alone.

"You are the most annoying man on Baker Street." Irene growled, braving her _fucking_ iPod for another kiss.

"We're not _on_ Baker Street." Sherlock pointed out and nipped Irene's lower lip.

"Exactly." Irene forced out, swept the edges of his jacket aside aside and pressed closer to kiss Sherlock's rare-but coveted-goofy smile.


	20. Toxic

John had started work, overseeing Mary's training class. Sherlock and Irene were solving cases left and right.

About a month into this, and the higher ups, with Lestrade, formed a...'game'.

After solving another case, Sherlock, Irene, Mary, and John were summoned into a giant meeting hall, along with Lestrade's group. Irene walked through the crowd (there weren't any chairs) to the other side. Mycroft was the initiator, and even Sally and Anderson were surprised by the malice coming from the other side of the room.

"The government has looked over the records, and has seen that the majority of your crimes are solved by them."He gestured at the group who looked like they were contemplating bloody murder."We want to see how good you are without their help."

"They will hide somewhere in London. We will time how long it will take you to find them."

"Excuse me?"Mycroft turned to Irene."If we decide to be annoying, and not do this, what are you going to do? Threaten to arrange a lunch for Sherlock?"

"I realize that I do not have any reason to convince you, but as a thief who has avoided much of the world's law enforcement, it would be much better if we had your help."

"Then why do you need the rest of us?"

"One expert, a accomplice, and two victims."

"Oi!"

"Victims my ass."

"If you want a victim, Mycroft, we could always abduct you." Mycroft looked like he was about to say something, but the sudden, big, sincere smiles from their corner of the room made his face go blank, except for the slight gleam that suggested that he was getting a bigger security detail.

"Get moving. Irene's team gets a half hour headstart."

Irene got up, being trailed by the others. As she walked out, she tripped and fell, but Lestrade caught her.

"Thanks." She gave him a half smile as she straightened up. She turned around and led the way back out the door.

Lestrade led the way into the main room and into his office. He disappeared for about two minutes, and then came out again. He walked over to the separate groups that composed his team, who all nodded, and then went back into his room.

Sally walked over to the CCTV cameras and parked infront of them with the rest of the team and a bunch of junk food.

About a half an hour later, Lestrade came out of his office, and they all got up and left. Mycroft raised a eyebrow and followed behind, where they pulled up to 221b Baker street. They walked up to the door, Lestrade infront. Mrs. Hudson opened the door.

"Afternoon, Mrs. Hudson, we just wanted to pop by and see John and Sherlock.

"Is this another drugs bust?"

"No, Mrs. Hudson."

"Alright then." She let them in, and Lestrade led the way up the stairs. He knocked, and it took a minute till the door was answered by Irene and Mary-

Who were in their pajamas, sweats and a tank top. They looked over the group at the door.

"Took you long enough."John came down the stairs. Irene turned.

"What is it with you and sweaters?"

"Sweaters?"She looked at the overwhelmingly British population and sighed.

"Jumpers."

"Oh."She turned back to John.

"They're from grandma."

"Ah. That makes sense."

He followed her and his girlfriend into the kitchen, and they were followed by Lestrade's team.

Sherlock was leaning on the counter and handed Irene a mug of coffee. She nodded her thanks and leaned next to him, sipping carefully.

Sally looked shocked.

"How did you-"

"I have him trained, silly."

**R&R!**


	21. Cooler Than Me

John was just finishing bandaging up a private-in-training who had forgot to tape up his hands before he started using the punching bag when Mary walked in, followed by Irene and Sherlock. The private pushed off the seat and left the room. John raised a eyebrow at the others.

"My mother is in town. And wants to meet you and Mary."Irene was smirking.

"He's is hoping you'll say no so he can avoid it. Again."John shared a glance with his sister and smirked back.

"As it happens, I am clear for the day. How 'bout you, Mary?"

"So am I."By now, all three of them had smirks as they turned to Sherlock. He groaned in defeat.

"Screwed?"

"Totally."

"Utterly."

"Perfectly."Mary and Irene hooked onto Sherlock's arms, and John watched his back as they left the building and walked the two short blocks to the restaurant. It was a small Italian eatery, which was distinctly a place you knew your girlfriend was going to suggest for a date.

Irene took point, and smiled at the maitre d'.

"Party of Holmes? They should be here by now."

"Yes, miss. This way."They followed him to the almost emty back room, where they could see Mycroft and-

"Cecily?"Irene's face was one of complete disbelief and happiness. Cecily Holmes's mirrored it.

"Irene! What a pleasant surprise!"They hugged, while Mycroft and Sherlock shared confused and freaked looks, and Mary and John grinned.

"Irene? How do you know my mother?"She looked up, not at Sherlock, but at Mycroft, a evil grin on her face.

"She helped me steal some of the crown jewels."

"Ha! Nice try. You're lying of course. Right, mother?"The vaguely apologetic look of his mother's face caused Mycroft's grin to waiver. "Mother?"

"Sorry, dear." Irene snorted and slapped a hand on Mycroft's shoulder.

"Just remember, dude; you're the one who wiped my record."She walked to the seat between Cecily and Sherlock. "This explains a lot, though."

Sherlock and his mom raised a eyebrow, almost identically.

"Do tell."

"The reason I can do what you guys do is because I'm smart and I'm a thief and a grifter. The reason you can do it is because you're smart and you were raised by a thief and a grifter. I don't know what happened with you, Mycroft."

"Huh."

"So, what about us?" She scoffed at her brother and her best friend.

"Y'all are goody-two shoes. You would have made awesome partners."Sh raised a eyebrow."Though there's probably hope for you yet."

And that was just the beginning of the 3 hour long lunch/dinner, which was very enjoyable for all concerned (unless your name was Mycroft, of course, because then you felt like crap because your plan backfired). 


	22. Mary You part 1

It was the Easter party at the precinct and everyone was invited. Even Sherlock showed up, though it probably had some correlation to the green halter top with the very low neck line and the white miniskirt over a pair of open toed green shoes and the way his eyes were following her around the room.

When John and Mary finally got there, they were grinning like loons. Irene moved over next to Sherlock, and both of them (well,Sherlock when he finally tore his eyes away from Irene) looked them over.

"When?"

"How did you-you know what,stupid question. Just now."

"Just now what?"Donovan was just a little pissed.

"We're engaged."

There was congratulations coming from all around the room, but the room quieted down when a voice came from the back of the room.

"Pay up."They turned to see Sherlock pass Irene ten and Mary raised a eyebrow.

"We were betting on how long after it would be. I won."

"How long after what?"Irene held up a hand, and a silver diamond glittered at them."Oh. My. God. I hate you both right now."

"Really badly."

"You got Sherlock Holmes engaged?"

"It would seem as such. Y'all haven't noticed,but we've been engaged for a while now."

"For how long?"

"Since I was in the hospital."

"But...that was like, a month ago."

"And you still didn't notice. Yes, your truly observational."Sarcasm was near dripping from Sherlock's voice.

Irene and Mary compared rings while John and Sherlock sat in companionable silence...

...Until a large group of men in black uniforms came in and surrounded the four. Irene looked them over.

"Mycroft sends his congratulations as well." They walked out and into the waiting limo. They all tried to stay as far away from Anthea as possible, and there was a pointed silence between her and Irene.

After about a hour, they pulled up to a manor in the English countryside. Irene got out first, taking Sherlock's coat when he draped it over her shoulders. There was what sounded like a growl from Anthea and in moments, she was pinned against the limo, and Irene had leaned in close.

"No comments from the peanut gallery, Simmons. You never did."She let go, and Anthea slowly slid to the ground. Irene walked back towards the manor, and after looking at each other, they followed.

"Cecily."She smiled and hugged Sherlock's mother.

"What, not Mother?"

"Snowball's chance in hell, Cecily."

"Eh, it was worth a shot."

She hummed in response and sat next to her. Sherlock sat on the other side of her, and John and Mary took armchairs opposite.

"Now. I heard you all are getting married."

For the next six months, there was a whirlwind of wedding related commotion.

When it was decided that Mary would move in with John and Sherlock would move in with Irene, all four were kicked out of their respective apartments and put up in a hotel for the week it took to pack away all the stuff from all apartments concerned, move the stuff into storage, and clean it all up. They weren't even allowed to move back in until after the wedding.

One day, Irene and Mary were shipped of in separate limos to do something secret, and they didn't get back for about 6 hours. No amount of poking could get either of them to give up what they did(though they did giggle uncontrollably, and that turned into a all-out tickle fight).

Then, about a week after that (during which time both Irene, John, and Mary lost their phones) they received wedding invites.

Irene opened hers and caught her phone when it fell out.

"You mom is good and determined for there to be a wedding, hmmm?"

"It would seem as such."

John and Mary caught their own phones and sighed, looking over the invite.

"Does anyone else think its twisted that to find out the date of our own wedding, we need to get a invite?"

Three other hands went up around the room.

"Uh-huh."

And then there were two days before the wedding. Orene raised aeyebrow at her phone.

"Hello? Parker? Really? Cool, see you in a bit."Sherlock, who was trying to figure out a cold case without leaving the room, nodded vaugley when she kissed the side of his head and left,swinging on a leather jacket.

It was a few hours later when John came in with a bunch of Chinese food.

"Mary went out with friends, and I assume Irene did too, and you wouldn't eat if I didn't make sure you did."Sherlock sat up and stretched, rubbing his eyes.

"Thanks."

They spent the rest of the evening, as well as most of the next day, trying to figure out the case.


	23. Mary You part 2

Mary walked into the club Irene had told her she would meet her at and looked around. She spotted the people the blonde who had been with Irene had described to her and walked over.

"Are you here with Parker?"

"They all stiffened and looked over. She ignored the guy with the long hair looking her up and down, and the black guy trying to be sneaky about taking a picture of her, or the older looking ones, one man and one woman, looking at her.

"Yes. Why?" The man's accent was American.

"I'm a friend of Irene Adler. She and Parker-"Mary was cut of by the woman, who was British.

"Waitwaitwait. Irene Adler? That's why we're here?"

"Yeah. She and Parker went to go steal something."The black guy, the guy with the hair, and the British woman were all wide eyed, while the man looked confused.

"Irene Adler, Ms. ?"

"You can call me Mary. Irene is my friend-"

"And one of the greatest thieves of all time!"

"You can call me Nate, this is Sophie-"British"-Hardison-"Black guy" and Elliot"hair. Nate turned to Sophie. "I thought that was Parker."

"Nuh-uh. Parker gets caught. You haven't even heard of Adler, which is just proof of how good she is."Elliot and Hardison nodded in agreement.

"Really. And why are we here?"

"It's her bachlorette party. Irene is getting married in a day and a half."

"And she is?"

"Stealing something with Parker?"

"Yes." Nate blinked and turned to Sophie.

"How good is she?"

"She is,like,the perfect thief. I lost 5 thousand to her in a Resort scam."

"She wrote a program so solid I couldn't hack it."

"She beat the crap out of me when I was undercover in a fighting ring. She got us both out."

"Huh."

They sat around and chatted for a while until they saw Parker and Irene walk in. Irene was carrying a gift bag for the British Museum. They walked over and sat down,pulling over the extra beers. Irene smiled at everybody. Hardison and Sophie looked as if they were looking at a beloved mentor. Parker, Elliot, and Mary looked at her like a old friend. Nate narrowed his eyes.

"I know you."Irene smiled, big.

"Uh-huh. Do you remember from where?"

"..."

"I'm going to take that as a no. Here, let me help you."She pulled her hair into a bun and put on a pair of glasses. Her face contorted slightly, and her voice sounded nasal. "Mr. Ford, If you want the file, you can get it yourself. I'm not your slave."She grinned widely when Nate's jaw dropped.

"You're Sarah Zuckerman! You're that awful secretary I had for a year!"

"Very good."

"Why?"

"Because I lost a bet."She clapped her hands together."Now, I have about a day until I get married. You wanna steal something?"


	24. Marry You Final

The wedding was fairly sedate. Mary was wearing a traditional white t-shirt sleeve dress with some faint sparkles along the from. Irene, having very gently explained why she couldn't wear a dress that proclaimed her to be innocent, was wearing a,for lack of a better word, slinky white dress with a dark grey bodice that was traditional, except not. Much like Irene,really. Sherlock, for the first time in his life, though wouldn't admit it under the pain of death, admitted to himself that he might not be the smartest person in the world; the person who had made Irene's dress, however...

John and Mary were all traditional blushing bride and groom, especially during the vows. Sherlock just said "Phi." and Irene grinned.

Once the receiving line started, It was time for the introductions. Spouses met families and parents, along with friends. Sherlock didn't like the woman who had obviously been an alcoholic in a black dress who stalked right past Irene. He noticed that John looked a little stiff as well, and called her 'Harry'. On the other hand, The original Mr and Mrs Watson were very nice. There were a few times when Sherlock was that close to saying something, or sneaking away, and Irene would do something, like lean slightly on him, or smile, or breathe, and he wouldn't want to any more. It was very interesting, and Sherlock was surprised that this was probably going to be harder for him to figure out than a murder,seeing as he had been working on it for months and still didn't understand at all.

Then there was the friends.

There were a couple of Sherlock's, if you use the term loosely. Slightly more for John, barely more than that from Mary. Irene was smack dab in the middle, which surprised Sherlock until he realized that these were the people she considered friends, not the people who considered her a friend.

There was Nate's group, and then a man named Daniel Jackson who seemed to be torn between liking Irene because she was smart about the same stuff, and annoyed because she apparently stole some Egyptian artifact from him. He was with a tall man with a gold symbol on his forehead who was introduced as Teal'c. Then was General Jack O'Neill, who seemed to have been invited separately, but had come with Daniel and Teal'c because apparently they now worked together. He had brought a Colonel Samantha Carter. Sherlock looked them over. Samantha had a crush on Jock, who was dating Daniel, though Sam didn't know and Teal'c did.

Then there was a man who looked like Irene. Almost disturbingly so, right down to the elf ears and the hazel eyes. He had hair that spiked up in a dozen different directions naturally (Sherlock would have been able to see the gel) and was in USAF military blues. He was with a slightly shorted man in a suit that had really blue eyes and a receding hair line. They also worked together but were invited separately, and Irene looked very happy to see them. They were introduced as Rodney McKay and John Sheppard. John (Watson) seemed to know both of them, and was happy to see them as well.

Time for the reception.

They were all in the parking lot of a arcade. Nate, Hardison, and Sophie were all leaning over Hardison's laptop.

"No, this is the place. You think it got misprinted?"

"Nope."They turned. Daniel, John S., Rodney, and Parker were grinning at each other.

"This is _exactly_ what I imagined."

"I know, right?"

Just then, a black SUV pulled up, and the newlyweds got out. The guys had given up their jackets and changed into black Converse, and apparently it hadn't been layering that made it look like the girl's dresses look like that, it was two skirts. They were now had knee length skirts, and were wearing sparkly grey (Irene) and white (Mary) Converse.

Irene cleared her throat for attention.

"Ladies and Gents. For those of you who won't be using the arcade, there is a reception area with a buffet and tables and a dance floor. On the other hand, we were thinking of a game of laser tag."

They moved inside, with Nate and his assorted tem trailing after, along with John S. and Rodney being trailed by Daniel, Teal'c, Sam, and Jack, amongst other people.

A half an hour later, three games of laser tag had come and gone and Harry Watson had had a small temper tantrum because there wasn't a bar. She had stomped out, though there wasn't much of a effect because none of the Watsons were there to see it, since they were playing laser tag.

They had taken to the dance floor, but Sherlock and John W. could only be coaxed on for slow dances, which suited Mary and Irene just fine, because there were plenty of other males at the party. John W. and Sherlock just leaned back contentedly, watching their spouses dancing and generally having a good time.

"We're married."John blinked and looked over at Sherlock, surprised by such a obvious statement. And then it hit him.

"Oh my god, we _are_."

They sat in quiet contemplation.

"Are Irene and the Sheppard guy related?"

"I don't know. But now that you mention it..."John cocked his head.

It was two in the morning when the party finally broke up. Irene collected numbers from her friends and led the way back to the car.

They got back to the hotel and went straight to bed, pausing only to shuck off shoes, socks, and wedding dresses, and in some cases (well, one) change into a camisole.

They had collapsed on the bed and drifting off to sleep. Sherlock felt Irene take his hand and squeeze.

"Hey."

"Hmm?"

"We're married."Sherlock smiled and nuzzled into her hair.

"Yeah. I know."

**Hey guys, You like?**

***Gentle hint at reviews***

**Please?**


	25. Strut

The next day, the sort-of newly weds went down to the park for lunch. They were met by John Sheppard and Rodney McKay. Irene and Rodney shared grins and hugged. Irene then ruffled John's hair, which caused him to retaliate, which lead to her chasing him around the park. Rodney, Sherlock, Mary, and John W.

"So, how do you know Irene?"

"We went to college together. She was the only person my age."

"And your age was?"

"16."Sherlock and Mary's eyebrows went up, but John nodded.

"What did you get?"

"Two doctorates, Physics and Astrophysics."

"What did she get?"

"Three doctorates, Physics, Astrophysics, and Art History."

"Ah. That makes sense."

John came running back, but tackled by Irene just in front of them. She then, having him pinned down, started ruffling his hair, to his (very loud) displeasure. When she felt sated, she got up and walked over, sitting next to Sherlock. John S. got up and, glaring at her, brushed off the dirt on his jeans.

"And how do you know her?"

"My school was feeling charitable one year, and put on a performance of Othello with hers."

"But since it was a private school, and had some standards, we didn't actually meet until the day of the performance, which was fun for a bunch of 7-10 year olds."

"Who were you two?"

"Emilia and Iago."

Rodney snorted.

"The sad thing is, I can see that." Irene smacked Rodney upside the head, and he squealed.

"He was also around when I got two of my doctorates."

"She was in my Advanced Math and my Engineering classes."

"Wait, what did you get in engineering and Advanced Math."

"A masters. In both."

"You didn't tell them, did you?"

"Well, no."

"Wait, how many doctorates do you have?"

"Six."She looked around."What? The life of crime can get a tad boring after a while, so I had to do something with my excess time."

"Okay, you have-"

"Physics, Astrophysics, Engineering, Advanced Math, Art History, and Archeology."

"Lemme guess-you met Jackson in the Archeology class?"

"Yeah."

"Ah."

"So, why else are you-and them-here?"Irene gestured with her head towards O'Neill, Jackson, Carter, and Teal'c.

"We want to offer you-all of you- a job."

"Where?"

"That's classified."

"But it's really cool. You would like it, though I can't speak for the rest of you. Talk about it. And then when you decide, call ?"

Irene raised a eyebrow.

"Kay. See yah."

They walked away to join the others. The rest turned towards Irene, who was watching them.

"So."

"Well,I think most of you would like it, but Sherlock?"He looked over."You probably won't be able to touch stuff."Sherlock sighed, long-sufferingly.

"Fine."

"Alrighty then. How do the rest of you feel?"

"I'll do it."

"Mary?"

"Sure."

"Sherlock?"

"I said fine, didn't I?"

"Cool."She got up and took a deep breath."SHEPPARD!"

John turned.

"GET YOU'RE NON-EXISTENT ASS BACK HERE! WE'RE IN!"

**This is the end of this section of this Sherlock verse,though it will be continuing in the Sherlock/SGA** **crossover section.**

**I'll be posting a link if anyone wants to read that.**


	26. Moving on

**Alright, the New Story Starter is up, it is in the Sherlock/SGA crossover section.**

**People who don't want to look for it themselves (and I understand) message me or review or something.**


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